Make Life Easier
Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is take one thing off her plate.
When I was going through treatment, everyday life didn't stop. There were still meals to figure out, kids to care for, errands to run and all the little things that normally filled our days.
Some of the most meaningful help came from people who simply made one of those things easier. They brought food, helped with my girls, thought ahead about what we might need or found small ways to take care of something so I didn't have to.
You don't have to do everything. Sometimes giving grace is simply noticing one thing you can make a little easier and taking care of it.
Help her remember.
Before one of my chemo treatments, my oncology team had recommended that I take Claritin. My husband knew I had enough to remember already, so he left it out for me with this note to make sure I didn't forget.
It was such a small thing, but that's exactly what made it meaningful. He noticed something I needed to remember and made sure it was one less thing I had to keep track of on my own.
Sometimes giving grace is paying attention to the little details and helping carry some of the mental load.
Make one less thing to think about.
During treatment, my coworkers came together and gave us gift cards to some of our favorite restaurants so we could order takeout or delivery on the days when figuring out dinner felt like one more thing to do.
It was such a practical gift, but it also made us feel incredibly cared for. They weren't just thinking about me. They were thinking about what might make life a little easier for our whole family.
Sometimes giving grace is taking care of one everyday thing so she doesn't have to.
Think about the little things.
When I came home from my mastectomy, my daughters Camden and Korynn had a snack cart waiting by my chair, filled with snacks and little things I might want while I recovered. They even made a sign for it.
It wasn't something I would have thought to ask for, but that was part of what made it so thoughtful. They had thought ahead about what might make those first days at home a little easier and put it right within reach.
Sometimes giving grace is anticipating a small need before she ever has to ask.
Not sure how to help?
Don't wait for her to figure out what she needs. Offer something specific.
Take care of a meal. Drop off dinner, send a restaurant gift card or arrange delivery on a treatment day.
Handle something ordinary. Offer to pick up groceries, run an errand, walk the dog or take care of something around the house.
Think about the people she takes care of. Help with the kids, a school pickup or another responsibility that can come off her plate for a little while.
Notice the little things. Sometimes the most helpful gesture is simply anticipating something she might otherwise have to remember or do herself.
Make it easy to say yes.
“Let me know if you need anything” is kind, but it can leave her with one more thing to figure out. Try offering something concrete instead: “I'm bringing dinner Thursday. Would 5:30 work?” or “I'm headed to the grocery store. What can I leave on your porch?”
Sometimes giving grace is noticing what needs to be done and simply taking care of it.